Phoebe’s Sleep Journey
The Newborn Stage
Before I dive into this I want to add a caveat: all babies are different. They develop at different rates and have different temperaments. Try not to compare your baby to the babies of your peers. Some babies sleep through the night (whatever that means) from quite early on and some take several months. Both of these are normal. The reason I am sharing this sleep journey is to demonstrate the challenges we have faced and how we dealt with them and to provide resources to help you do the same. Any product links are affiliate links and I will receive a small commission if you purchase through the link. Affiliate links allow me to continue to provide free resources in the Sleep Library.
In the first couple of nights after being born, Phoebe just wanted to be held, which is completely normal. So, Chris and I took shifts between feeds to sit up with her.
We then started putting her down in her co-sleeper cot next to the bed after feeding when she was already asleep. She was in a Tommee Tippee Grobag swaddle, which she loved. She would then sleep for a couple of hours at a time in the cot, and when she woke, I would feed her, and she would then go back to sleep.
I really struggled with sleep deprivation in the first couple of weeks. I don’t do well on little to no sleep; it really affects my mental health. This, combined with recovering from birth, breastfeeding, and my hormones falling off a cliff, meant I was finding it really hard. Our feeding journey didn’t get off to the best start as we had latching issues. It took a while to get the hang of it and to feel comfortable.
After a couple of weeks, when feeding had established, we were putting her down at about 10:30pm after a feed, and then she would wake at approximately 1am, 4am, and 7am for feeds. We would hold her until she was asleep again and then put her back in the cot.
Chris was doing one of these night feeds with a bottle of expressed milk to allow me to get a longer stretch of sleep. I know this is contrary to a lot of breastfeeding advice; however, my midwife assured me that one bottle a day wouldn’t cause nipple confusion (she had never seen it in her career), and if there was any sign of bottle preference, we could just stop doing it. This was the permission I needed to not feel guilty about it as I needed that longer stretch of sleep to recover, and ultimately I was a better parent as a result.
Phoebe didn’t have a schedule; she just slept whenever and wherever she wanted to. It was always a contact nap, in the carrier if we were out for a walk or in the pram/car. I didn’t pay too much attention to her day sleep as I knew newborns slept a lot, and she was sleeping reasonably well at night, so felt no need to change anything.
By 8 weeks, she was only waking once a night to feed, which we did as a bottle feed so we could take it in turns to get a full night of sleep. Phoebe was really good at sleeping in her cot (I know there is a lot of luck involved here; it can really depend on the temperament of your baby), so she was happy to settle in there at bedtime, and if she stirred, I would shush her and pat her tummy until she nodded off again.
We also took her arms out of the swaddle around 8 weeks as she was showing signs of rolling. The Grobag has poppers so you can let their arms out. This meant we could continue to use it safely until she outgrew it at around 4 months old.
By 10 weeks, that one night feed had moved to around 6am, so she was sleeping from 9:30pm to 6am. I was like a new woman.
Some things we did, which I know helped with her overnight sleep:
Introduced a light bedtime routine from the beginning: dim lights, gentle music, book, feed, change, cuddles, then bed. Babies can recognise patterns so although she won’t have known it was bedtime, doing it at the same time each night will have helped her get used to day/night.
Put her in the co-sleeper cot from being a few days old to get used to it. I’d also pop her in there when I was pottering around as she was safe and I could see her, so she was used to being in there awake too.
Got her up at the same time each morning to help regulate her circadian rhythm, which takes 12 weeks to fully develop.
Part II: 5-12 Months will be available next week. Sign up to the newsletter to receive it straight to your inbox along with a 10% discount code.
In this stage I cover:
Moving Phoebe to her own room
The 4 month sleep regression
Introducing a nap schedule
Gently introducing a consistent cot nap each day - using a gentle method.
If you are pregnant or have a newborn and you want to set yourselves up for success with sleep, grab my Newborn Sleep Guide. It covers everything you need to set healthy foundations, science of sleep, safe sleep, wake windows, sleep cues, the “witching hour” and more…
